The Blogs

Is the only emancipation from wage slavery death?

How do I proceed, push forward, finish something, this...PE
Or in theory would it go on forever until she emancipates from wage slavery? Is there any other way to emancipate besides death?

I want to say that in the next three months I will try the Constant Writer project...writing everything pretty much I do at work in note taking/ note making forms


Directions for Talking Straight


While reading The Zen of Listening

Maybe it's listening to them straight...
Stressful listening situations...
full blown arguments
disciplinary events
job interviews
talking to the boss


Tomorrow is Fidel Castro's 80th birthday. He was 20 when I was born. When I stood on the balcony at the Calle 15 apartment in El Vedado, reading the clouds for signs of my future, imagining that some day I would be a significant world leader, he was already on his way to becoming one.


I get disappointed when what I figure out doesn't magically stop others from running their patterns. I figure out one way to listen better to my archenemies at work, but that doesn't magically make them stop running their confused, harsh patterns. And my pattern of wanting to live under a permanent metaphorical bed, inside my own blinkered head, rears up.



Nobody gets it. Nobody believes it. They think it's a session but it's real. (That's how it feels). I manage to cover it up, act like life goes on, but interiorly I know I won't live through it. Oh, I'll appear to live through it, but interiorly I'll be dying. Dying, cumulatively dying, until one of these Mondays I'll truly fully be dead.

Don't make me go there anymore

Maybe Fidel is dead. He is the greatest leader of all time. Or, he is a tyrant. The Cuban revolution's upward trend is that it's moved wealth distribution, access to resources, justice centuries forward; its downward trend that to do so it has been represive, been forced to resemble its own oppressors who have been blockading the economy and militarily undermining the Cuban state.

26 de julio

My mind's all over the place not knowing where to start to write. I only now am realizing this is July 26. Fifty three years ago Fidel, Abel and the others assaulted the Cuartel Moncada. Last night I started reading this article in the New Yorker about the succession. Fidel is an old man, he falls and forgets things and isn't seen in public very much and what will happen when he dies? In the photo I remembered how much he resembles my father, who loved him and hated him.

Watching life in the big house

Driving in, seeing the tree lined entry road and the out buildings; arriving, pov of the inmate; seeing their shackled hands and feet; already I am crying, outraged
People's lives should not come to this; the criminal is history's serial killer, class society; capitalism. Will we live long enough as a species to get to look back at this time and say, what were we thinking. We are sorry. We will make amends and offer reparations to the descendants of those who were harmed

Maybe one day I can escape

July 5, 2006

I had a voice mail on Monday I didn't hear until Thursday from J who works in a literacy program near home I unsuccessfully applied to direct, maybe 3 or 4 years ago...Hard to remember exactly when. Asking me to do a yoga workshop and sit down with them to meet to maybe fundraise to start some kind of community arts, writing, yoga, peer counseling, health literacy...rational job.

Balance of attention or rigidity when I write?

July 12, 2006
It's hard to choose between writing, the practice of putting words down, and the meta practices I need to feel on top, outside, in charge of the material. (Is it like balance of attention? Or rigid distress?)


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